growing up was great

This is where I live. Absolutely beautiful.

The Future

Today an article came up saying that since Obama's "plan of action" for the military came to be, the death rate for soldiers has doubles. This is not something that I'm going to comment on, because that's not what I want this blog to be about.

What i do what to express is my fear.

For anyone that truly knows me, they will be the first to tell you that i am great at keeping my composer in bad situations. This seems to be one i can't control.. The Boy, is in the ROTC and regardless of if he goes into the ARMY or National Guard, the fear is the same.

I tried to watch The Hurt Locker with him over my spring break and after only the first scene I made him shut it off. I'm certain it's a fantastic movie that deserved every award won, but I am a great big coward.

I'm so proud of him. And I know that no matter what happens he will be a great man. Of course he doesn't think of himself as a hero or anything. It's his job. But I've never been more scared.

I'm no stranger to death and I know it's not something he's afraid of, but I can't stop thinking about how selfish my thoughts have been lately. I would never ask him to not go, and to be honest (in a sense) I don't want him to stay. I want him to do what he has always wanted to do.

What I'm trying to say is.... I love him. I really do... and I pray everyday that he will be ok in the future and I pray everyday for the soldiers and families that are already experiencing what I will be experiencing in the future.

p.s. - I never thought i'd ever be this much of a sap... i grew up with a bunch of dudes... and most of my friends are dudes... ironic isn't it?

I don't like titles.

Care for me as well you do

Please take my heart to take with you.

You arms and eyes show me your grace.

I see the care upon your face.

Please take me in and show me how

To take your heart and treat it well.

With God above and hearts so true

I take your heart and see you through.

Though times were sad and shed were tears

With you I’ll be, I have no fear.

everything is packed up. Almost. I'm currently watching en episode of The City on MTV and it is getting me sooo excited!! My roommate, The Crazy One, wants me to go to this fabric shop called... moos? I have no idea. I'll have to look it up. But lord knows i'm gonna want to make some shirts with theta phi on them lol. but hey, we'll see =).

I love this picture because I love blending stills and movement all in one photo. Not to mention my obsession with sperry's lol.

from frustrated to feelin' fine

My day did not start out well at all. While I was freaking out and studying for my Intro to Business final I was being bombarded of thoughts about a certain girl who always needs to be in control, my public relations plan next semester for SGA, and wondering what my roommate will be like when I move to the city.

Just so you know, these thoughts didn't stop when I started taking my test. Isn't that be the best? When you have something really important to concentrate on and all you can think about is EVERYTHING ELSE... yeah, I love it too. Sometimes I think that its A.D.D. or something and then I realized... nope, I'm just a girl lol. Every girl I talk to has multiple things are their mind. Damn us for being good at multitasking. I almost wish I could think like a guy and be able to concentrate on my work like guys can concentrate on video games.

So, I wanted to post this picture as the "picture of the day". Maybe I should make that a daily theme =). This picture was taken in my home town on our main street. I love living in a small town. There are so many things you just can't experience in the big city, but I'm not doubting that it's not as amazing lol. I'm not gonna lie, I hope I can handle it.

Till later.

new font color

This goes out to The Boy... better? =P

waking up

So these are two of my Sorority sisters. I'm pretty glad they came with cause who knows what would have happened if i went on my own lol. We were driving to this one port and a very very creepy man was sitting in car on the opposite side of the road by himself. The whole place creeped me out actually. There was one spot where I had the chance to take the PERFECT picture of the moon reflecting off the ocean... and it kept coming out blurry. I checked my camera and I know I had it on the right setting, right shutter speed and everything. But it kept coming out blurry. It's really weird... that would be the top picture by the way.

And this of course is my sorority. For those who don't know those are the Greek letters, Theta Phi Alpha. and I adore them... even if my sisters wouldn't fix the theta, cause it could be better.

But I wanna say thanks to Big Red and VP for helping me out and coming with me on this trip.

P.S. - I wonder if there will ever be a day that I wake up and say to myself, "Damn! I feel freaking great!" I'm not gonna lie, it's hard not to complain about being sick and hurting all the time, but I can't stand to listen other people complain about fickle things so I suppose I can't expect them to listen to me. I have too many things to be thankful for.

photo tour

2 of my sorority sisters and I went on a photo tour of coastal Delaware. It was cut short by the fact that I got scared and bitched out. That's right. I saw an "orb" on one of my photos and freaked out... but he's come of what I took... as already edited.

I'll load some more photos tomorrow, but for now i'm going to finish skyping with The Boy and go to bed. PEACE.

Business Final

This is how I feel right now. My business final is killing me, as is my history final. Save me.

Old doodles

Sooooo, I found these on my phone and thought I'd share them with you. The only one I didn't draw was the first one. Enjoy!

This drawing I cannot take credit for. One of my best guy friends drew this, The Over Thinker. He sent it to me on my last birthday and it absolutely made my day. Still have it on my phone obviously. =)

This one was inspired by me listening to a friend of mine get bitched at by his girlfriend. She was made that the diamond heart shaped necklace he got her wasn't original enough for her. Let's be honest, guys aren't very good at gifts. And if yours is, you better know damn well how lucky you are =P. But it made me think, and I believe I actually said something to him similar to the words of "maybe you should get her a tree" and I laughed to myself. So as they fought I doodled, and this is what I came up with.

This one I drew while I was in Anatomy class. Yeah, oops. I feel bad now cause I actually had a very cool teacher. I was inspired by this kid in class listening to his iPod and trying to memorize parts of the heart. I think its just such a happy picture. In a creepy-cool sort of way.

I'll be taking a photo tour of Delaware today, so be prepared for some awesome pictures.

Alright, first thing first.

1. Can someone please tell me how to spice up my page? I may be in college, but that doesn't mean I'm all that good with technology. Shit.

2. New fact about myself, I have some freakin funny friends. I told a few of them of my blog and gave the link and that I would be changing names for their own good and embarrassment (yes, I will be telling embarrassing stories).

Needless to say, 2 of my guy friends want porn names, such as Dick Rockhard and Blackjack Chesnut. I suppose the 2nd one isn't so bad, but Dick Rockhard is definitely not a word I could describe him as. Rutt (his name, I just decided) is a friend of mine, we make sexual jokes, behave inappropriately, and is the one guy I can sleep in the same bed with, maybe even cuddle, and absolutely nothing would happen. I'm not kidding. I wish I could call him gay, but he's unfortunately straight. I say unfortunate cause I feel like he would be so much more fun if he was gay.

My past and present boy issues.. only the beginning

I'm sitting here watching my pledge sister wash our kitchen floor.. makes me feel bad that I can't do anything to help her, but there is not much I can do about that. I have the hips and bones of an 80 year old woman, no disrespect to my elderly peeps though.

Of course every night the same three things happen, and no watching my roommate clean is not one of them.

1. I video chat with my wonderful boyfriend, The Boy.

2. I watch Phineas & Ferb on Disney Channel

3. I get a nonchalant "hi" from my ex boyfriend, let's call him Don.

Oh how I do love my roommate. Her witty remarks are as necessary as the sun, you need it to survive. She was thinking of naming my other ex "Jerk" but quickly changed to "Jebadiah" lol. I would say its the bleach getting to her, but I know for sure she came out this way at birth.

Back to my nightly events. So my boyfriend, what to say about him. Been seeing him for almost a year and I couldn't be happier. Needless to say he isn't perfect, but I love him none the less. Sorry single guys. Phineas and Ferb is my all-time favorite cartoon. I only wish I could have done those things during my summer vacation. For those who haven't seen it, you should. You really should. And as for my ex...

Yeah I'm just gonna start a whole new paragraph for that one. I think the only reason he still sends me that "hi" is because he is truly lonely. We dated for almost 3 years from 8th grade to high school. of course, back then when we broke up I thought it was the end of the world and I didn't see any hope of me moving on. Of course I did, but how else is a 14 year old supposed to feel when she breaks up with her first love. As my best friend puts it, we are far too alike to be compatible. We would fight like it was the last fight we'd ever have on earth. Scary too. But we were both stubborn as hell, so I don't know what else we should have expected. Thankfully though we knew one day we'd be friends again because we were best friends for 6 months before we started dating.. and fell in love with each other before we started dating. That's certainly something you only find in the movies. But our conversations now are short, and have no substance, unless we are face to face.

Face to face conversation. Now there is something that is lacking in this world today. I try to do have it as much as possible.

Right. Don. Well, of course there will always be a place in my heart for him. He was my first love. I think my boyfriend lucked out personally. He didn't have to go through the strain of high school heartbreak, lucky bastard. But this is our conversations.... to a tee:

Don: hi

Me: hey

Don: how are you doing

Me: good, u?

Don: alive

If that isn't a cry for friendship I don't know what is. Pretty boring though if you ask me and if I ever want to get something out of him.. you know, like real life happenings? I just don't get it. If anyone has any advice on how to handle this, let me know. Keep in mind, I'm a nice person.

It's almost 12 and I'm driving around Delaware to try and find awesome places to take photos. If anyone has ideas, also let me know =).

Last week of class

So, this last week of class has given me a lot of time think about the upcoming chapter in my life. I go to a very very small school, and to protect myself for the time being I won't be saying the name of it but for now lets call it WC. I'm a junior in college, technically a sophomore (had some delays and had to take a semester off), and I am just now starting to go into what I really want to do. I want to eventually work for a sports broadcasting company, but in order to do that I have to take some serious courses and get to know the media world a little better. So what am I doing? I'll be moving to the Big Apple, and I have never been more scared, but don't worry I'm just as excited as I am scared.

Not only is my college small, so is my hometown. I grew up in a small farm town on the east coast. My 8th grade graduating class was no more than 32. Needless to say, people are shocked when I tell them I've had the same 8 best friends since the 3rd grade lol.

I don't know if anyone will actually read this, but I have a big story to tell I promise. And it is only a matter of time before my thoughts, fears, and crazy life events. So hold tight, it's gonna be a big apple ride. =)