I didn't quite know how my night was going to go. Work was long and packing for New York was short lived, but once I finally sat down with my best friend, Marg (of course names have been changed, but I can only use so many descriptions) and her boyfriend, things began to slow down. We were there to celebrate her 21st birthday so her and her boyfriend shared some wine while I joyfully and willingly sipped on my water. It had been a while since I had laughed that hard at someone's story and the greatest part about it? It was mine. I've always kind of been the entertainer of the group with my wise tales, my presents of advice that are given whether anyone wants them or not, and my impressions of those who are unaware that impressions can even be made. It was good to not feel like the 3rd wheel, but the person I have to thank for that most is The Boy. When they would catch each other's eyes and give a kiss, I didn't feel awkward. I felt happy that they were just as happy as I am.
After Marg's "man friend" left, her and I went to the mall to see Sex and the City 2. (Spoiler Alert: please don't read any further if you plan on seeing the movie. By the way it was wonderful so you should.) Of course walking into the theatre was like walking in the Sea of Estrogen. There were a total 5 men there... all with women, and definitely 100+ women. The movie started out as the typical shows always do, though I love Sex and the City so I was completely fine with it, but it spiraled into questions about my life and relationships. At one point Carrie runs into her old flame in the Middle of the Middle East and she thinks that it's a sign. I don't know how it is for men, because I simply don't have a second head, but for girls there is always a little piece of them that has a special place reserved for ex's. Though sometimes I think of the old times, I am quickly brought back by remembering who I am with now and why I am so happy. There is a reason an Ex is called an Ex. Think about it.
Now I personally have a large fault. It's called Kindness and Compassion. Though my feelings for my ex's no longer exist... I still feel the need to be friends with them and help them through their troubled times. It's not that I can't let go... I already have... I just can't turn down a cry for help. I feel like it would haunt me if I at least didn't try. Yet, thinking back... that is truly how I've always been. I would always say, "If my biggest enemy (not that I have one... I don't think) asked for help, I would not turn them away."
Back to what I was saying... oh yeah... so the movie went on to the hardships of motherhood... that women are afraid to talk about, simply because it would make them less perfect, and the fact that sometimes things happen, but when you get married, you signed up for better or for worse. Maybe this is naive of me to say.... considering i'm not married.... but I can't see me or him for that matter doing anything to make us so bad that we couldn't be with each other any longer. One scene really got me close to tears because I felt like it related to me and my boyfriend on a whole other level... but Carries butler mentioned his wife and he ended up telling her that they only see each other when he can afford to get a flight to see her. The time or distance is not an issue though because when they see each other it is like they are embracing each other for the first time. I know exactly how that is.
Last night was a prime example of this. The Boy came over last night so that I could cook him dinner and he surprised with the most beautiful and unique flowers I've ever seen. He even put on a nice t-shirt for me (trust me, thats saying a lot). Before he left though, I walked him out to his car. There had been a big storm that just past and there was another on the way, so across the horizon above the tree line... we were surrounded by quiet storm clouds. Right above us the night sky had opened up into this deep navy and it was so clear you could see all the constellations the clouds would allow. Below us, and all around us, were fireflies. It was as if God had laid a blanket of sparkling stars on the Earth, just for us to see. There were no lights, but the small ones coming from my house, and the atmosphere showed on his face like I hadn't seen it for about a year. I had fallen in love all over again... and I never wanted him to leave. I felt like I was back in a summer romance, but this time it wouldn't end once September rolled around. We were both holding each other, never wanting to let go. I can't believe that with all of this time... none of these feelings have faded. Only gotten stronger with time.
As the movie ended, I wanted nothing more but to call him and I tell him I love him. With that I turned on my phone and got ready, but something happened that I never expected. A text from The Boy. Now, that in itself was expected, and maybe an "I love and miss you", but when I looked down I actually lost my footing. In all the times we've been together... he's never been the type to say anything outright, just to say yeah when I said something... or poke me when he heard something... but this was different. As I clicked on his name and scrolled down I read the words, "Soooo I was driving by houses and picturing us in them :/". I know I had done that multiple times, but never in a million times had I thought he was that serious. I know he loves me, but to love someone is one thing. To start planning your life with someone... even in your head... that truly means a lot.
I'm ending on that Note so that I can have sweet dreams. Goodnight everyone... and may love find your path.
