Today an article came up saying that since Obama's "plan of action" for the military came to be, the death rate for soldiers has doubles. This is not something that I'm going to comment on, because that's not what I want this blog to be about.
What i do what to express is my fear.
For anyone that truly knows me, they will be the first to tell you that i am great at keeping my composer in bad situations. This seems to be one i can't control.. The Boy, is in the ROTC and regardless of if he goes into the ARMY or National Guard, the fear is the same.
I tried to watch The Hurt Locker with him over my spring break and after only the first scene I made him shut it off. I'm certain it's a fantastic movie that deserved every award won, but I am a great big coward.
I'm so proud of him. And I know that no matter what happens he will be a great man. Of course he doesn't think of himself as a hero or anything. It's his job. But I've never been more scared.
I'm no stranger to death and I know it's not something he's afraid of, but I can't stop thinking about how selfish my thoughts have been lately. I would never ask him to not go, and to be honest (in a sense) I don't want him to stay. I want him to do what he has always wanted to do.
What I'm trying to say is.... I love him. I really do... and I pray everyday that he will be ok in the future and I pray everyday for the soldiers and families that are already experiencing what I will be experiencing in the future.
p.s. - I never thought i'd ever be this much of a sap... i grew up with a bunch of dudes... and most of my friends are dudes... ironic isn't it?
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